Q: from Seller: Caroline, How did you get her to agree to that?
A: I could tell you, but then I’d have to disappear you, like on Yellowstone. JK
This is a good question. It depends on the situation. I use negotiation skills I have developed and learned over time. That’s why you hire an expert! I’ve also studied FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss. The person asking questions is in control of the situation. By asking questions I gain insightful knowledge about what is important to the other party. Something they think is very crucial may not be a big deal to the client I am representing. To cede on those points makes a smoother transaction. Chris Voss teaches “tactical empathy”. I may not agree with the other party, though if I can see it from their perspective it will help us craft a response they may ultimately accept.
That’s a great approach to take in any kind of communication or negotiation. Trying to understand the other party’s perspective can help you identify their needs, values, and priorities, and help you tailor your response accordingly. It can also help build trust and create a more collaborative atmosphere, which may lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.
When trying to see things from the other party’s perspective, it can be helpful to actively listen to their point of view, ask questions to clarify their position, and acknowledge any valid concerns they may have. It’s important to approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to consider alternative viewpoints. Even if you ultimately disagree with the other party, taking the time to understand their perspective can help you communicate more effectively and ultimately achieve a more satisfactory outcome.
Another strategy I employ is voicing out loud what we guess they are already thinking. When we use empathy it breaks down barriers, allowing the other party to hear our concerns. For example, instead of saying “I’m sorry” this works better:
“You must be so frustrated. You’ve waited so long, thank you for your patience. You must have thought you’d been ghosted without even a phone call to say I’d be tardy. How rude, you’re right. It won’t happen again.” (or to avoid this entirely show up early-especially if you know your client is a Driver personality type who will be annoyed with your tardiness. That could be our next blog-knowing your client’s personality type. Stay tuned)
